I believe in angels; in fact, I know I have several of them watching over me in heaven, but none more dedicated to me than my grandmother. Throughout my life, and since her passing, I have felt the love of Angela Mary Boccia Carofano more unconditionally than any other single person. I miss her everyday; sometimes, it even hurts.
She has often come to me in dreams; my proof that she acknowledges what I believe. Once we were sitting together at her kitchen table, as we had so many times before. Unexpectedly, she got up to leave, and I felt a pang of loss, immediately recognizing the same feeling on the day she passed. But before she disappeared, she placed a note in my hand. I opened the note that read, “No matter what, I will always love you.” It was then I knew, she is with me, even on the other side.
Another time, I had been facing some obstacles. I was in my bedroom, crouched down looking for something in a drawer. I felt a wave, like a light breeze, pass from behind me & I smelled the scent of the powder she used daily. I looked up, and there was nothing there, but her scent lingered in the air– her way of telling me that she is still beside me. (And I found what I was looking for).
She passed eight years ago, tomorrow, October 29th. The irony I find in that is that the worst of this hurricane Sandy is expected to hit tomorrow. The weather people are comparing it to the storm of 1938, which is especially scary because no storm I’ve ever lived through was as bad as that. I know this because I heard stories from my grandmother about that storm. I have seen pictures of my grandfather, water wading up to his waist, in the middle of the street. I remember living at my grandmothers during hurricane Gloria in 1985. The electricity was out for a week. Doing my homework in candlelight was something I groaned about, and my grandmother responded– “This is not the worst…be thankful that our house is standing and that we are safe.”
Angelique, I affectionately called her, and Gigi– a name my son had given her– was always the person I could be completely honest with about everything; there wasn’t any subject that was off limits with her. She has taught me so much about life and living, and even death. I cherish the memory of her everyday, and I’m thankful she is the angel I have watching over me and my family.