My mother and I laugh at the many, many times throughout my own role as a mother that I have thanked her, apologized to her, validated her angst, appreciated her, sent her flowers just because… because only in having my own children do I KNOW the depth of her unconditional love, unwavering patience and unending sacrifice.
We haven’t always had an easy relationship. It ebbs and flows, and, still, sometimes the storms come, bringing with them tumultuous tides. But through every stage, she has been and will continue to be my touchstone.
I hope I have cultivated that type of relationship with my own children. I’d go so far as to say that my life truly began with each of them. It is only through their eyes that I’ve appreciated my own life. I write to my children, keeping a journal for each of them, so, one day, they will realize all that they’ve meant to me, but I know they will not know until they are parents themselves, and I truly wish each of them will be.
Kids always tend to ask their parents who the favorite is, as I did to my own mother. Not until I had my own did I realize the capacity to love them the same but differently.
This is how I love my children:
RYAN has always had a certain sensitivity which lends him to be the kind-hearted person that he is. While he’s the first born, and has tendencies to expect life to present itself at his feet– he goes out of his way to do kind deeds for others, always caring how other people feel. Ryan is smart and insightful. He has great depth to himself that even he doesn’t realize, yet. He is trustworthy, efficient and dependable; if you want a job done right, you ask Ryan because cares about the outcome of everything he’s involved in. He’s fun to be with because he’s easy going and quick witted. His fascination for the world around him is endless– he sucks in all the knowledge he can, and he’s passionate about it.
He can rattle off more facts about the world (history, politics, geography, culture) than anyone I know. Moreover, he has a strong sense of conviction to act on what he believes in. His lack of fear and independent nature allow him to experience life, but not in a reckless way because he’s savvy and cautious when he needs to be.
TYLERis also sensitive, but emotionally, though it’s something that he only allows few to see. He observes everything– he has a keen sense of innately knowing. Since he was little, he’s always been protective of those he loves, cognizant of not allowing them to be hurt (physically or emotionally). Perhaps the most energetic of my three children, Tyler has a tendency “suck all the marrow of life” (Henry David Thoreau)– he has a certain zest for everything he does; I have always referred to him as my Happy, Jolly Soul. His sense of humor and his positive outlook on life will carry him far. When he loves something, he is focused on being the best he can– his competitive side contributing to this attribute. From the time he was little, he could entertain himself all by himself, at one point he acknowledged to having a movie perpetually playing in his head. He can rattle off quotes from films as if he’s written them himself. And he’s always had a creative side– writing poetry, short stories, drawing cartoons.
ALEXA is what I call My Icing on the Cake. She is sweet and kind and generous. Everyone loves her because of her giving, easy going nature. Kids flock to her because she is fun and attentive. She is perhaps my bravest child, intuitively, because she will try anything once– I’ve never heard her say I’m scared or afraid of challenging herself. She’s the most organized and hard working of my children. Her effort towards whatever she does always exceeds people’s expectations of her. I love to hear her giggle because it’s a melodic belly laugh that reminds me she is so in touch with the child inside her. She doesn’t concern herself with the drama of the kids her age. She shrugs it off and has the patience to just let it ride it’s course. Busy every minute, she never shuns from pitching in or taking on a project of her own. She is adept at following through on everything she starts and then, she stands back, with a sense of pride admiring her accomplishments (no matter how big or how small– she appreciates every one).
Sometimes, when I’m feeling down about myself, I think about my children and realize, if I accomplish nothing else in this world, I’ve had a hand in creating three of the best people I know.
❤ Happy Mother’s Day, Mom, and thank you being a good role model for me and so, so much more!! ❤