That’s how many times I pressed the snooze on my alarm clock this morning.
Each night before I go to bed and most often the last words I speak at the end of the day are “ahhhh…. I LOVE my bed.” I’ve never before had such a love affair w/ my bed (it helps that it’s a Comfortpedic, which I highly recommend!) It feels as if I’ve landed on a cloud that hugs me.
And the first word each morning, is “DAMMIT!” The alarm sounds. I press the snooze, & press the snooze again, but it doesn’t go away. I lay there, in denial, until I drag myself up. Today, my first thought, after audibly saying “DAMMIT” was just one more alarm until vacation. In fact, after my shower, which admittedly, I sleep through the first half of on most days, I actually had a bit of a temper tantrum at my alarm & shouted, ” I HATE YOU”… my husband rolled over, snickering (he gets to sleep an hour longer than I).
6 a.m.– the din of darkness looming outside my window. I hate alarms, I hate clocks and watches and time. In fact, I always have. I don’t wear a watch, and, after 10 years at my job, I still haven’t memorized at what time the classes begin & end. Why?? Because I don’t want to know!
I want to live in the moment and be guided by my body clock. I want to go to bed at night when I’m tired (instead of when I should) and wake when I’m rested (instead of when the mother fucking alarm clock sounds). Is that so wrong? I want to know in what culture(s) are people allowed to listen to their inner clocks?
On delayed opening days, I feel HUMAN coming to school 90 minutes later. I don’t dislike my job; I dislike the unGODLY hour it forces me to wake up in the morning & begin my day. I don’t even want to sleep the day away. In fact, on vacation & in the summer, I actually awaken by 8:00, but I feel refreshed because the sun is shining & I feel rested.
So, this week, when I’m on winter break… I will listen to my inside voice, honoring the lack of schedule I so worship. I will sleep when I want to sleep, and for as long as I want to sleep, so, when I awaken, I’m ready to embrace my day with energy and vigor to live it to the fullest.